and so the days passed like any other
And I went places and did things. I hung out with people. I drove to a new town and was scared I’d die by the forgotten saloons and broken down buildings. I played guitar hero at a sausage-fest. I went to a museum and tried to make snide comments and was met by silence by the corners of the wall.And life kept going on. Each day felt like the last,…only things were a bit hazy. Sleeping through life I could never tell what day it was, or why it mattered what day it had been. Friends started to find work and get going while I was stuck in the doldrums with my yearly sickness of having grown a year older.
Everyday. Just everyday. I think of that word and what it means, does mean, and could mean.
Everyday is the same. I try not to be too hard on myself, but I’m a failure through and through. We can’t all be failures like G.W. and fail upwards though. Some of us have to sink down into the lower crusts of society.
Is so true.
So everyday i woke up and did things. Sometimes I was with people, more times I was alone. But more and more, I had forgotten what it was like to be awake in my own life.
Everynight I went to bed hoping when I would wake in the morning, I’d finally be awake and all that had passed had been the dream.
But no, I’m still here and I’m still asleep. Wake-walking my way through life.
At least the weather is nice.
I can’t say that I am though.
As the years have been unkind, so have I too grown.
One day this will be all over and I’ll think to myself, was it worth it? Could there be more adventures to be had?
I’m still looking for a way to not be bored, that is all.
That is all.
Posted on April 22nd, 2008 by Babblin' Joe
Filed under: Misery